If I just close my eyes long enough...
I'll get my life back. I know that is what Brynn was thinking today. She woke up around 7 and just kept looking around, then closing her eyes for a few minutes and then doing it all again. She would roll over if I tried to touch her. I finally just picked her up and she drank a bottle but she has been a rollercoaster of emotions today and mostly down. She screams when we come in the room, cries for MaMa everywhere, woke up crying from both naps, and tonight decided she didn't like me anymore and wouldn't let me hold her and then spent 20 minutes falling asleep sitting up and if I touched her so she would fall in a safe direction, she would hit me. Poor girl. She did enjoy riding in the shopping cart at Walmart and I can tell she understands a few words in English but she is one angry girl. This is probably made worse by the fact that I am useless when it comes to trying to get her hair to look decent - it is sooo fine and she doesn't trust me yet to sit still to let me do it, except the one time she insisted I put the big poofy pink things in it that she was wearing from the orphanage! We met some other families today in the playroom since the rain today kept everybody in the hotel (with no electricity - it was HOT)so they were a distraction for her for a while until she got tired.
We got the pictures back from the cameras we sent her foster family. There is a boy who looks about 8 and a girl who looks about 12 and I think that the foster mother's oldest child is in a picture with his new wife. They are interesting to see and while right now I am not letting Brynn see them, someday I am sure she will appreciate having them.
More tomorrow...
posted by Kate @ 10:14 AM
7 Comments:
I know this is emotionally draining on both of you, but brighter days are to come. The adjustment period is going to take a while, and my key saying might work for you....."This too shall pass". I hope you can take comfort in that everyone back here is praying for you and Brynn, and that the anger will fade away and that sweet smile will prevail.
Best wishes for better (and hopefully cooler) days.
P.S.: Carley asks about you all daily, Cameron wants to know what the boys are doing, and Carter can't wait to have a new playmate!
Now I see the sense in having to remain there 10 more days..hopefully there will be a degree of trust and stability established before Brynn's next major upheaval.
I also hope that each day you will see a glimmer of improvement in her acceptance of you. She is really behaving as one would expect a bright 2-year-old to behave.
Keep up the good work! Courage!
I can't wait to see you all.
Kate-
She is so lucky that you are able to understand that she is hurting and that her anger is not personal.
She will learn to trust and love you.
We are thinking of you and of Byrnn as she struggles to understand this difficult change in her life.
Someday, Delaney and Brynn will discuss why their mothers are not hairstylists....
Hang in there!
My heart is with you, Kate.
Kate this is all so amazing!! Brynn is soooo beautiful. You sound so exhausted but excited at the same time. Hang in there you're are doing such a great job, and you're supermom remember! We have been thinking about you and praying for your safe travels. We can't wait to meet her. Lee got the job so we are going to NC for sure. :)We'll make a trip up when you get back and settled. Miss you!
P.S. I loved the sticky tape note to Price, Alexis loved that episode of Dora :)
Hi-
I got your website from the China board on SoA site. We brought home my daughter (from Russia) when she was a bit younger than Brynn but we went through a similar thing where DH couldn't come near her (even in the room sometimes) without her screaming bloody murder. I was lucky that she would let me hold her but it was very very hard on DH. It did get better within a few weeks though and every day was a little better than before.
Are you using baby sign - that was a tremendous help, our daughter picked signs within a few days. Also we called her two names - first was the name we gave her and second was her nickname. Within a few days she was responding before we even got the second name out of our mouth.
Anyhow I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and to tell you to hang in there - It WILL get better. Congratulations!
Karen/Ktates
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